Planning a wedding is a major undertaking. It’s like the Super Bowl of events—a multi-day schedule, a dozen vendors, hundreds of guests—but most first-time brides are playing at the peewee level when it comes to event-planning. {That New Year’s party with three kinds of Jell-O shots has nothing on your big day. Sorry. } And because brides are treading in uncharted territory, our experts say, they’re primed to make a wedding-planning mistake that could cost them dearly. Here are the major missteps you don't want to make you're wedding planning—and how to sidestep each one.
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All you need is love. And an annotated budget.
1. Ignoring your budget.
Too many brides spend major moolah before they've created a wedding budget—or worse, says Amy Nichols, owner of Amy Nichols Special Events and cofounder of The Poppy Group in California, they don't create one at all. "A bride who doesn't budget might blow all her money on a dress that's more than she can afford, or by booking a venue that takes up too much of what the couple has to spend," she says. Before you buy a single item or book even one vendor, Nichols says, "you should sit down with your partner and your families and determine your budget."
2. Rushing into decisions.
Wedding planning is a whirlwind of exciting choices, "but that excitement can often lead to impulsive decisions you may regret later," warns Aviva Samuels, owner of Kiss the Planner in Palm Beach, Florida. So pump the brakes before you choose any pros, taking the time to weigh what's really right for you, says Samuels. "Emotional and financial stress can be the unfortunate consequence of rushing into a decision hastily," she says. "To avoid heartache, do your research and look at these decisions from a clear and level-headed perspective."
3. Hiring the wrong photographer.
You could be tempted to contract a photographer whose packages more in line with your budget than your aesthetic. Or perhaps you've fallen head-over-heals for a professional's portfolio of outdoor, natural-light photos—and haven't stopped to consider you're hosting an evening fete in a dimly lit ballroom. Nichols warns hiring the wrong photographer—even one with the best intentions—can lead to disappointing photos. So instead of picking a photographer based on price or portfolio alone, "talk to your planner and ensure that you're choosing a photographer that will deliver the types of images you're expecting for what can afford," she suggests.
4. Overthinking decisions.
Turns our, you can rush or slowly saunter into a bad big-day decision. "It's very easy to over-think things and be paralyzed by fear," says Samuels. "But if you've done your due diligence and checked out references, then trust your gut and go for it." To expedite your decision-making, Samuels suggests limiting yourself to choosing between three vendors for each wedding category. "There's always going to be more than one good fit, but don't let the search go on for an eternity," she says. "The consequences can really kill your spirit, and take the joy out of the planning process."
5. Not leaving enough time for photos.
You may be ready to strike a pose, but if you don't work a photo session into your wedding-day timeline, you may not have time left to snap portraits. So before you figure out how you'll spend every wedding-day moment, "ask your photographer how much time he or she wants for family portraits, wedding party portraits, and a first look, if you're doing one," Nichols says. "Keep in mind, the cocktail hour should be no more than one hour, so if your photographer wants one and a half hours for photos, you'll need to do some before the ceremony."
6. Allocating too much money toward your venue.
To all brides with big dreams on where they'll host their big days, a warning: If you spend too much on your venue, you may spend the rest of your engagement penny-pinching and back-pedaling, says Samuels. "Spending more than your venue budget allows might mean that you will need to look for vendors and suppliers that charge less," she says, "and as a result you might be getting an inferior product or service." Stick to this particular budget line item, Samuels says, and you'll have—mostly—smooth sailing.
7. Hiring a friend instead of a professional.
Your BFF has a bad-ass camera, so she can totally step in as your wedding photographer—right? Wrong. "A wedding is not the time for a friend to launch her new cake business or the time for your cousin to launch his photography career," says Nichols, "nor is your wedding day is t a day to take chances." It's best for you—and your friendship—if you politely decline your friend's offer to pose as a pro. "Hire professionals to avoid disappointment and ensure a smooth day," Nichols says.
8. Getting professional planning advice after something's gone wrong.
Says Samuels, "It's not easy to recover from wedding planning mistakes after they have been made." Once contracts have been signed and deposits have been placed, she points out, "it will be challenging for a planner to come in and save the day." Don't put yourself in a place where you need a hero. If you hire a planner from the get-go, "they are likely able to save you both time and money," Samuels says. "Not only do they have the learning curve already mastered, they also have the resources to be able to insure that you get the most bang for your buck."
9. Getting too attached to something.
If you've got your heart set on a specific flower or have picked your color palette before your venue, you might be setting yourself up for disappointment. "You might love peonies, but if you're getting married in September, it is highly unlikely that they'll be your wedding flower," says Nichols. "Ditto for being hell-bent on a certain color—that color could clash with your venue's overall natural look and feel." Steer clear of being so specific, Nichols advises, and "try to keep an open mind until you've at least locked the basics."
10. Not anticipating how much time wedding planning takes.
Wedding planning is intense. "It can often take on a life of its own and impact your health, your relationships, and your job, not to mention your mood," says Samuels. You could lose work hours to vendor phone calls and social schedules to wedding-related meetings, "especially if you were already very busy before the planning process began," says Samuels. So be sure to schedule untouchable time for date nights, lunch breaks, and even a bubble bath—whatever will keep you calm and moving on.
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