As you know, Kelly Clarksoncalled off her wedding earlier this week—I mean, she didn't call it off so much as she said, "Nope! We're eloping!" so there's no wah-wah ending to the story. But still—sometimes, people do decide they're not the perfect match (see: the recent story of Leonard Lauder, son of Estee), and they decide to say "I don't," instead.
Obviously, no one wants to go through this. I mean, ugh. But if you both know that getting married would be a bigger mistake than not getting married—well, it's important to recognize that.
But, like everything wedding-related, there are logistics involved! Who to call, what to do, what's the etiquette? The Stir broke them down:
You have to let everyone on the guest list know. Seriously—everyone. You might feel awkward, embarrassed, sad, furious, and overall just want to disappear. Unfortunately, you can't. While you might want to say that the wedding is simply postponed—in order to avoid questioning—if you know that it's actually off, just say it. You can keep it vague. But if you let your family and friends dangle, they might keep buying gifts and planning things for you. The good news: You can absolutely enlist a good friend to the notifying for you.
...and don't postpone the news. It would be so easy to put it off. Denial, all that stuff. But remember that people have very real plans surrounding your wedding, so do your best to keep them from spending money on nonrefundable airplane tickets as soon as you can.
You can't keep the gifts. The toasters, the place settings, the cash...they've got to go back to the people who bought them for you.
Negotiate the ring. There are actual laws about wedding rings—they vary by state. Some laws state that whomever receives the ring can consider it a gift, and it's hers (his) to keep. But others say that you have to give it back. Hopefully, this is something the two of you can discuss and feel OK about—whatever the solution.
If you're the one who calls it off, you should pay for everything. Honestly, I think this is debatable. According to The Stir, if one person wanted to get married, and the other did not, the person who did want to walk down the aisle shouldn't be stuck with the bill. Which I get. But there are also situations where it's not just one person who bails out; it's both. Be as fair as you can.
Don't throw a "pre-wedding divorce party" on the onetime wedding day and keep all of the gifts. Well, yeah.
Obviously, I hope this happens to no one. But is there anything you'd add to the list of "I don't" to-dos?