Writes Save the Date reader Nikki:
My fiance and I had a big, lavish "wedding" in our hometown, and all of our friends and family members were able to attend. However, due to some technicalities, we were weren't officially married that day, so now I'm planning a second, smaller wedding (to the same man!) in Vegas. Since it will be our REAL wedding day, I don't want it to be cheesy or lame. I'm planning on wearing my wedding dress again, and he'll wear his three-piece suit. A couple of my bridesmaids have said they want to wear their dresses again, and I have no problem with that. I actually welcome it. However, does this mean I have to buy gifts for them again? Do I have to do anything special for anyone else attending our "destination wedding"? Also, I wasn't planning on hosting a reception or anything after, rather just having everyone go to a buffet on their own dime. Is that OK?
Here are my thoughts:
I don't think you have to do bridesmaids gifts again, especially if you're not asking them to take on additional responsibilities or get their hair and makeup done or whatever. And I don't think you have to do "welcome bags" or whatever for anyone else who's attending. (I do love a good welcome bag, but I understand that the cost can add up, and I hardly consider them mandatory.)
That said, if people are traveling on your behalf, I do think you're obligated to feed them. I tend to err on the side of Miss Manners when it comes to party hosting rules. And if you're having a destination wedding (even if it's not your first wedding), you're hosting a party. I mean, it's basically the equivalent of a vow renewal, just a little sooner. And you wouldn't host one of those and let your guests go hungry, I hope.
I know hosting a whole dinner thing could wind up being super-spendy, so I'd either have an A.M. ceremony (say, 9:30) and follow up with mimosas and pastries or a post-dinner ceremony (8 P.M.) and then celebrate with desserts and champagne. I mean, you mentioned you don't want your wedding to be cheesy or lame, and I think not feeding people is kind of both.
Ladies, what do you think? Should Nikki do SOMETHING to feed her guests? Or is it fine to ask them to spring for their own food?