What's not to love about a destination bachelorette bash? From a culinary crusade through Napa Valley to a wild ride in Las Vegas, a weekend getaway with your favorite gal pals sounds like your idea of serious fun. But get a few honest friends together and you may find there's a lot they do and unfortunately don't adore when it comes to traveling for this particular party. Here, five women get real about what they really think about destination bachelorette parties.
Surprise! They don't like the additional expense.
Think about it: Several of the people on your bachelorette party guest list are likely also bridesmaids—women who are already dishing out serious dough for a bridesmaid dress and your bridal party. "It's a lot to ask of me to pay to be a part of your wedding and to go away for your party," says Christine, who's been invited on three bachelorette getaways this year alone and can only attend one. "If it comes down to paying for that $300 dress you want me to wear or buying a plane ticket, I know where my money has to go."
They love the chance to see somewhere new.
One benefit to hosting a destination bachelorette party is that you and your favorite friends get to experience somewhere new—and that sometimes means traveling to a place your friends may have never gone otherwise. "One of my friends held her bachelorette party in New Orleans," says Kate, "and at first, I didn't want to go. New Orleans just isn't on my travel bucket list. But I got talked into it, and I am so glad I went. I love New Orleans now, and without that party, I never would have seen it."
They don't want to go for too long.
Two or three days? Your friends are in. But ask your gal pals to pack for a five-night, six-day vacation and they may put up a fight. "If I have to take vacation days to go to your party, I can tell you that I won't want to go," says Tara, who turned down a bachelorette party invitation for a weeklong trip to Hawaii. "All my vacation days can't be dedicated to a wedding that's not my own."
They cherish the memories.
Hosting a destination bachelorette party means you've (likely) scheduled more than an evening spent boozing at a bar. "I've been to bachelorette parties where the bride wears a tiara and we go out and do shots and dance and sure, they're fun," says Anne. "But the one bachelorette party I still think about to this day is the one we took to the New York City. I'll never forget seeing Central Park for the first time with my best friends."
They feel guilty if they can't go.
No bride means to put pressure on her friends by extending a long-distance invitation. But unfortunately, that can be an unintended consequence of hosting a destination bachelorette party. "When I had to say I couldn't go to my best friend's bachelorette party, I felt like a terrible friend," says Kate. "I was worried she would think I didn't care enough to go. Luckily, she understood."