You may or may not have heard the old wives' tale about wearing a ring on the ring finger of your left hand before getting engaged being bad luck. Plenty of ladies we quizzed had never thought about it, while others made a thing of purposefully avoiding any sort of accessorizing. [As for this writer, I made a point of never wearing anything pre-engagement. The tale was probably passed on by an older female relative, and once it got into my brain, no matter how silly, it stuck.]
There doesn't appear to be a major backstory for the superstitious stance. Rather, it's what you might guess: People worried that wearing a nonengagement ring would still signify you were taken, regardless of whether you were on the market, making it "bad luck" for finding a potential suitor. No one would approach you if a major visual cue was announcing you were already in a serious committed relationship.
While far from counting as official sources, internet commenters have weighed in whenever the question bubbles up. Someone responding on a Yahoo! Answers page offered up an explanation that seemingly points to how etiquette might have been involved. "In the past if a man met a woman [a ring] would be how he would tell [if she was married] without having to ask too many personal questions," she wrote, suggesting that inquiring about someone's marital status "would have been considered bad manners."
Wedding Bee message boards had a lively conversation going, with user Jezika asking the community where they stood. "I've heard that some people are positively against flouting this finger rule and even shake their heads at it," she wrote, collecting responses that included a few people explaining the decision to avoid wearing a ring was to make an eventual engagement piece feel more special. Another pointed out a different issue with stacking baubles on that finger: annoying frenemies who like to loudly ask Are you engaged?! whenever rogue jewelry is spotted. Awks.
For extra insight, we asked a few cool-girl jewelry designers to weigh in. The unanimous response? It's more about sending the wrong message more than anything else.
"I've always felt it had less to do with bad luck and more about letting guys know you were available. In my 20s and living in New York City, I definitely didn't want guys to think I was taken!" Maya Brenner told us. It was the same story for Page Sargisson, who said she avoided the finger but it wasn't about superstition. "I didn't want to signal to others that I was engaged if I wasn't. I don't think it's bad luck, but bad communication."
A custom engagement ring from Ariel Gordon
And while Ariel Gordon went all out with her accessorizing pre-settling down, she's limited her left-hand action since. "Once I got married I limited my left-hand rings to just my engagement ring and wedding band. I felt like they were precious enough and deserved all that real estate."
Bottom line: You're not going to jinx any potential love stories if you have a cool ring you want to wear on whatever finger you please. Accessorize away!
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