Perhaps you dream of dipping your toes in the sand and watching the sun set over rolling waves as you say “I do.” Or maybe you envision holy matrimony on a mountainside covered by vineyards—a place where both wine and culture overflow. With those visions of beautiful and bountiful scenery swirling in our heads, it’s easy to see why hosting a destination wedding is the ultimate goal for many brides.
But before you book your long-distance affair, it’s time to do a gut check—because with those beautiful and bountiful destinations come consequences you may not have considered. “When a couple envisions a destination wedding, they may not realize that their friends and family might not be overjoyed or on board with their decision,” says Aviva Samuels, destination wedding planner and owner of Kiss the Planner in Palm Beach, Fla.
You friends may not have the finances to buy a bridesmaid dressand a plane ticket, she points out, while elderly family members may not be able to make the journey. “It's a good idea to make sure that your loved ones are behind you and your decision, so that the celebration is a happy experience for everyone,” says Samuels. “Even though it's your wedding, if those that you want to celebrate with are not as prepared for that choice as you are, it could impact your joy during the planning process or how you will end up feeling on your special day.”
So to help you make the decision on whether you really want a destination wedding, here are three questions you must ask yourself.
1. What does your wedding day really mean to you? And what does it look like? Asks Samuels, “Is your big day an excuse to go all-out—to pack a party with dynamic centerpieces, dramatic lighting, and the most exclusive band that money can buy? Or is your focus on a great destination—one with breathtaking views, adventure, exotic elements, and island charm? If it's about both—or even all of the above—can you manage to make that happen with a destination wedding?”
2. Who could attend? Perhaps when you answer the above question, you find you’re focused on creating an intimate occasion for your nearest and dearest. But if even those few treasured guests can’t attend, your real wedding will fall short of what you’ve imagined. If you feel you can’t afford to leave anyone out of your special day, Samuels warns, a destination wedding may not be for you.
3. Can I plan from a distance? Like a long-distance relationship, a long-distance wedding takes special care—and a lot of time. “Do you have the tolerance to plan from a distance,” asks Samuels, “possibly having to wait it out for a response or deal with cultural differences and communication issues that come from language barriers and a more laid-back, take-your-time-mentality?”
A destination wedding may not be right for everyone, but for those with the desire and the patience to plan a far away fete, the rewards are many. “Having a destination wedding can be a very special experience that you would likely look back upon fondly, for many years to come,” Samuels says.
Here’s how to find your perfect destination wedding hashtag.