Every spring, when wedding invitations start dropping through people’s mail slots, we get a flurry of emails from soon-to-be wedding guests asking, “Can I wear white to the wedding?” Popular variations include, “Can I wear this floral dress with a white background to the wedding?” “Can I wear this white-on-topcolor blocked dress to the wedding?” Rationales include, “It’s the only dress that fits me.” “It’s the only dress I like.” “I’ll add a pop of color with a sweater.” And, “But the bride said it’s OK.”
And still our answer, forever and always, is no. No, you cannot wear white to a wedding. Period.
So we’ll field one last email, and then we’re putting the the issue to bed.
Writes Save the Date reader Maddie:
I know that this is against the rules, but you know that feeling when you find that perfect dress and you can’t let go? So I have that problem. I’m going to my boyfriend’s friend’s wedding, and I don’t know the bride. So I really, really like this dress and I need advice: Can I can pull this off? I can throw some fancy shoes and bag and necklace. You know add more color to it. What do you think? Here's THE dress.
Asos Petite Cowl Back Midi Dress in Sparkle White, $67.20.
Here are our thoughts:
No.
Also: Seriously, no.
And we can hear you saying, BUT so we’re going to answer your BUTs right now.
BUT
I said I was going to add more color!
Unless you’re going to “add more color” by putting another, non-white dress over it, this dress is off-limits. No.
BUT
It’s the only dress that’s in my price range.
No.
BUT
It’s the only dress that looks good one me.
No.
BUT
What if I ask the bride and she says it’s OK?
Don’t ask the bride. If you do, she might just say yes because she doesn’t want to get a bridezilla rep. But even if she says yes and she’s really, truly OK with it, I promise you someone at her wedding isn’t going to be. And you don’t want to be forever remembered as the random girlfriend-of-a-friend who wore white to the wedding. You just don’t. So again: No.
You can buy another dress, you can borrow another dress, you can rent another dress, you can dye a white dress—you can skip the wedding and stay home and wear this dress—but you cannot wear a white dress to a wedding.
We don’t care what the silhouette is (“But it doesn’t look like a wedding dress!”) or the color (“But it’s light cream!”). The only exception—the only one—is if the bride and groom specifically request that their guests wear white. In that case, by all means: Yes! Please wear this dress.
In every other case: No.
But, good news: You CAN wear black to a wedding!