Superstar wedding planner Colin Cowie and I probably don’t see eye-to-eye on everything wedding-y: He’s splashy where I would be subdued. He’s over-the-top where I would take it down a few notches. {How many chandeliers does one tent need, sir?! } And still when it comes down to the nuts and bolts of wedding planning, like basic etiquette, it seems we agree.
In a recent Ask Colin post, someone asked him the No. 1 wedding etiquette DON’T. His answer—don’t ever keep your guests waiting—would be mine, exactly.
Your bridesmaids don’t have to be picture-perfect at the crack of dawn.
That means:
- Don’t make your bridesmaids’ hair and makeup appointments at 8 A.M. if your wedding is in the afternoon. If you want to start getting ready at the crack of dawn, great. Just don’t expect anyone else to.
- Don’t walk down the aisle at 3 P.M. if your invitation says the ceremony starts at 2. You get a 15-minute window—that’s it.
- Don’t pick ceremony readings that are 10 minutes long. Here are The 10 Best Wedding Readings From Books, TV, and Movies—all short.
- Don’t plan a long stretch between your ceremony and reception. Best-case scenario: Your ceremony flows seamlessly into cocktail hour.
- Don’t allow for long lines to form at the bar. That might mean having two bars, or setting up serve-yourself-stations. (Ice-filled buckets, bar-side, with beer, water, soda, and mini bottles of champagne.)
- Don’t tell everyone to sit down 20 minutes before dinner starts. Ask your caterer to have bread and salads on the tables, so guests can go from cocktail hour right into dinner. Speeches can happen while everyone’s eating salad. And on the topic of speeches:
- Don’t let more than three people speak. The maid of honor, best man, and either one set of parents OR the bride and groom—that’s it. (Anyone else who wants to can speak at the rehearsal dinner. And don’t let anyone speak for more than five minutes. [Less is always better.])
Is there anything worse, as a wedding guest, than sitting through endless wait after wait after wait?