I stumbled across a Dear Abby letter this A.M. that totally made my skin crawl. {No, we will not talk about how I stumbled across a Dear Abby letter. Roll with it. } Here it is, in all of its awfulness:
DEAR ABBY: My husband and I attended the wedding of the son of some old friends in another state. Rather than buy the young couple a gift, we instead gave them a check for $1,000. Imagine our astonishment when a month later the following arrived in our mailbox:
"Dear 'Loretta' and 'Evan,'
"Thank you for the generous donation. We really enjoyed spending that money. If ever you feel like you have too much of it, we would gladly take it off your hands.
"Love, 'Mason' and 'Candace'"
Abby, my husband and I have worked hard for many years in our business and have been blessed. We are not millionaires. We were happy and humbled to be able to share with them—until we received this. The money wasn't a donation; it was a gift.
— Stung in Sioux City
You can click here to read Dear Abby's response. Here's mine.
Look, I know writing thank-you notes is a totally un-fun task, but if someone took the time to travel to your wedding, sit through the ceremony, celebrate with you, eat the rubber chicken, AND give you a gift (especially a THOUSAND-DOLLAR gift) you take the time to write a nice, thoughtful, personal thank-you note. Otherwise you just kind of suck.
Obviously this bride and groom were trying to be funny, and humor is subjective, but I don't find their note even a teeny bit humorous, and neither did the couple who received it. Let's break it down.
"Thank you for the generous donation." Blech, blech, blech, blarg. Just ew. "Thank you for your generous gift." would have been a 100 times more appropriate. This just misses the mark.
"We really enjoyed spending that money." OK, that's a start, I guess. But my mother always taught me to let the gift-giver know know HOW you spent it. "We were able to put the money toward our honeymoon to Italy, which was so incredibly special. Our favorite part of the trip was the two magical days we spent at a castle in Tuscany. It was so serene and romantic."
"If ever you feel like you have too much of it, we would gladly take it off your hands." For the love of all that is holy, NO. NO, NO, NO. An easy way to close is by repeating your thanks, and letting them know that you appreciate the effort they made to be there. "Thank you again for your gift—and for taking the time to celebrate with us. It was wonderful to be surrounded by people who love us on our wedding day."
I'm even more annoyed by this letter because it was sent to friends of the groom's parents. Maybe, MAYBE if you want to flex your "funny" muscles, you could try something like this on YOUR friends. But if I got a note like this from a friend, I don't think it laugh.
Are you grossed out by this thank-you note too? Or do I need to lighten up?